mommy? poopie now?

it just gets worser & worser!! our Fearless Leader ™ writes a note to mommy Condi during a U.N. Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit.

poor fucker. he's either so heavily medicated (thx to Rove & Katrina) that he doesn't know when its doodie time anymore, or needs another line, STAT.

quack, quack.

I leave for a week and all hell breaks loose

Here ya go bigots, just in case you've missed the vast conservative controlled media conspiratol puke spin of late:

Much to the chagrin of my blind / redneck / Jonestown punch-drinking brothhers-in-arms, the liberal media conspiracy has JUST BEEN TOPPLED AND NOW WE'RE FULLY IN CONTROL. PRAISE FUCKING JEYSUS. FINALLY US MORAL SUPERIORS ARE TAKING THE REIGNS TO SAVE ALL EVACU/REFU/GEES FROM ETERNAL DAMNATION WITH OUR PRAYERS, BOOT DRIVES, CAR WASHES, AND RED RIBBON MAGNETS.

Words can not express the joy I feel in experiencing the sense of utter domestic security enveloping us as a nation now that we've assumed full responsibility for managing this tragedy on all fronts: the planning & logistics of rescue, recovery and rebuilding (those tent cities we've erected for the short term have made me weep with American pride when I see them going up), assembly of necessary rebuilding manpower (including Halliburton heroes), and the emergence of social/structural engineering teams who will be shipped back from another successfully well-managed infrastructure-restoration, Iraq, It's hard, hard, hard work.... HARD WORK!! I know we can do it just cuz we're the true Americans who uphold all our best ideals - such as brotherhood, tolerance, dissent, freedom from incrimination without evidence, and most importantly, the pursuit of individual liberty.

Given all that, I'll admit, you've switched me to your side now. I'm turning Red because y'all have brought us so much more under control in times of crisis than the lots of FEMA during BJ Clinton's tenure ever would've been able to imagine.

However, in just a little while, us RED folk'll begin gathering bloated up and festering corpses to be buried in mass graves in order to 'dissappear' some to keep the death count below our WTC 'magic number' of 3,000 - we'll do anything to protect the sacrifice of those lost in the tragedy of 9/11, which will never be downplayed by an act of nature of which we were completely unprepared for despite 40 years of warnings. We know the real enemy and threat to our Democratic way of life is TERRA, not NATURE. Down south, it's every man for himself at this point - just pick yourself up by your bootstraps - that's definitely the American way to take when you're watching your neighbors drown and die from lack of emergency medical care (ESPECIALLLY if they're BLACK... chances are they're wounded, infltrating, MUSLIM EXTREMISTS FROM EYE RACK anyway).

For all the undeciders at this point - liberals, commies, queers, polygamists, and sodomers (in particular) - we still need your votes to pass our Domestic Outreach Agenda (D.O.A.) for victims of this unprecedented natural disaster of Grecian proportions -- just hang on to that floating Tupperware bin till we can rescue you. You'll be better off in a more organized welfare sysem elsewhere anyway. Seven days late and billions of dollars short, don't say we don't have the American's backs. That's just partisian attacks from the left, and their misguided attemt to blame El Supreme Victor Bush for the hurricaine. Hell... he doesn't even know when a thundertorm is coming into his golf round, so how is he expected to know a Cat 5 hurricaine is on the way to New Orleans? IT'S NOT HIS FAULT GUYS. HIS OFFICE JUST RECEIVED BAD INTELLIGENCE. Besides - as he was golfing, eating cake with Senator McCain for his birthday, and taking in an incredible jam session when all this was going down --- AND, MAY I ADD, reading "My Pet Goat" to inner sanctum administration ranch guests that last evening of vacation for bed-time stories - not mispronouncing a SINGLE word, you liberal commie book burners -- he was WORRIED about his oil rigs in the Gulf!! And you say he's not a compassionate conservative! Partisan attacks, all of it. Disgusting.

Yes, it's so much more soothing to be Red. I'll meditate now.

There really is something to this right-perspective after all, As I said, I'm a recent convert - I'm doing so much for these poor people that I've adandoned my own family and will be holding out my shoe at the corner of Forbes and Craig here in PGH to raise funds for FEMA.

Due to the anticipated outpouring of support in my endeavor, I soon hope to be stethoscope in hand, pacifier in mouth... approaching one of NOLA's traumatically wounded for a CNN spot interview.... which in foresight may not go so well as the unknown-named elderly patient will probably up-n-die before we have a chance to speak. Ungrateful bitch.

Nero Fiddles While Rome Burns:

Bush ClusterFucks a Chord While NOLA drowns:

and my favorite quote of the day:

Ex-First Supreme White House Lordess, Barbara Bush, offers her expert analyses on the Katrina siuation:

"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this -- this is working very well for them."

Yes Babs, totally awesome. Inviite some into one of your 20 room houses and order your son to install them in critical government positions - or you'll take away his bike for a month.